这是我对Alan Watts某次讲座中一部分的听写。2018秋正在做Elements的同时，因为“原子论”产生了关于“意义虚无”的问题，我即是在当时接触到了这些文本。其中讨论God的部分与我在开发中扮演虚拟世界造物主的情况意外地相合，我认为我那时的实践经验和这个讲座（尽管其内容很可置疑）都是使我摆脱那一问题的关键因素。
So then, if you awaken from this illusion. And you understand that black implies white, self implies other, life implies death, or shall I say, death implies life.
You can feel yourself. Not as a stranger in the world, not as something here on probation, not as something that has arrived here by a fluke. But you can begin to your feel own existence, as absolutely fundamental.
What you are basically, deep deep down, far far in, is simply, the fabric and structure of existence itself.
So, say in Hindu mythology, they say that the world is the drama of god. God is not something in Hindu mythology with a white beard that sits on the throne, and that has royal prerogatives. God in Indian mythology is the self. Satcitananda. Which means, "sat", that which is, "cit", that which is consciousness, that which is, "ananda" is bless. And in other words, what exists. Reality itself is gorgeous. It is the plenum, the fullness of total joy.
Whoa wee.
And all those stars if you look out in the sky is the firework display like you see on the 4th of July. Which is a great occasion for celebration. The universe is a celebration. It is a firework show to celebrate that existence is.
Whoa wee.
And then they say, but however, there is no point just in sustaining bless. Let's suppose that you are able every night to dream any dream you wanted to dream. And that you could, for example, have the power within one night to dream 75 years of time, or any length of time you wanted to have. And you would naturally, as you began on this adventure of dreams, you will fulfill all your wishes. You would have, every kind of pleasure you could conceive. And after several nights, of 75 years of total pleasure each. You would say, "Well, that is pretty great." But now let's, umm, let's have a surprise. Let's have a dream which isn't under control. Well, something is going to happen to me that I don't know what it's gonna be. And, uh, you will dig that and come out of that and say, "Wow, that was a close shave, wasn't it?" Then you will get more and more adventures, and you will make further and further out gambles as to what you would dream (???). And finally you will dream, where you are not. You will dream the dream of living the life that you are actually living today that would be within the infinite multiplicity of choices you would have, of playing that yon weren't god. Because the whole nature of the god (???), according to this idea, is to play that he's not. The first thing he says to himself is "man, get lost". Because he gives himself away. The nature of love, is self-abandonment, not clinging to oneself, throwing yourself out, as, for example, a basketball. You're always getting rid of the ball. You say to the other fella "Have a ball." See? And, uh, that keeps things moving. That's the nature of life. So in this idea then, everybody is fundamentally, the ultimate reality, not god in a politically kingless sense. But god in the sense of being the self, the deep, down, basic whatever there is. And you're all that. Only you're pretending you're not.